When you’ve given up because you’ve received negative feedback…
I was watching the remake of ‘A Star is Born’ and the character Lady Gaga plays said she had stopped trying to get a recording contract because of feedback on her appearance, even though she had an amazing voice she didn’t fit.
It made me think about my own life and times when I have put the things I want to do on hold or stopped doing them because of the feedback or view of someone other than me.
I wonder how many of us put our heart yearnings on ice? Perhaps you plucked up the courage to pursue something but then got knocked back.
For me it was singing, I love singing it makes me feel alive in my soul and about ten years ago I plucked up the courage to go to a singing teacher. The teacher wasn’t overly encouraging, I can’t remember what was said, but I remember it stopped me in my tracks and I felt that that passion and love inside was to be hidden again and never shown to the outside world, I guess I felt shame as I wasn’t awesome at it, but wanted to pursue it.
I wish I could go back to that woman ten years ago and tell her what I know now. This is what I’d say
Be ok hearing no and receiving negative feedback– different feedback is just another way of looking at a situation, another view, perspective. All are subjective, get into the practice of listening to the yearnings of your heart not the ratings you get in social media, what your friends say and what your family think. Be the unique you that you are here to be, this though requires courage.
Be courageous– try things for the joy of trying it rather than for being amazing at it. It’s ok to not be awesome at everything. And when you find you are doing something new and fear comes up, take a look at my blog post on fear and ways to handle it.
Be ok not being the best at something, do something for the love of it. Society makes us believe that we need to be the best at anything we try, that simply isn’t helpful in allowing all parts of us to grow and flourish.
Listen to your inner world– are your thoughts and internal voices supportive? I noticed when I bring attention to my inner world I have a chance to decide what thoughts and messages I listen to and from a place of choice decide what is helping me move towards where I want to be. I have found sitting quietly focusing on my breath for ten minutes daily has helped me develop my ability at noticing my thoughts before I become attached to them.
Be kind– to yourself and to others who may have a fledgling passion or love they want to pursue. Be kind to you and the yearnings your soul has- its whispering them for a reason.
We are all unique amazing beings and no matter what anyone thinks of our perceived talent or lack of talent, it serves us well to follow the feeling of aliveness and joy. What makes you feel alive and joyful yet you don’t do it for fear of failure?
I wonder how many of us have a love for something in our hearts yet the little acorn of our passion is put out before it has a chance to grow and flourish.
I say it again- we are all special and our unique light is what the world needs especially now.
So I am going to follow the yearnings of my heart more and not be swayed by opinion of others, if I enjoy doing something I will do it for the love of it. Ps when lockdown is over I’m signing up for singing lessons regardless of the feedback.