Surviving Valentines when you’re on your own

It’s that time of year again when the shops are awash with Valentine’s gifts. Hard to escape and ignore and for some a reminder of yet another year passing and still being single.

If you find yourself in the predicament of having to face another Valentine’s day on your own, here are some ways to get you through the day.

Create a day just for you. Just because you are single doesn’t mean that love and loving you isn’t important. Often when we are single, our lives become devoid of love and we fall way down the list of priorities in our life. Start creating a list of all the things that make you feel good, it can be favourite foods, movies, favourite activities, things that nurture and nourish your soul. Look at what’s on your list and create an evening for you. One you can savour and make you feel loved. Being ok loving ourselves helps us attract relationships that accept us just as we are.

Avoid social media and insensitive friends. Being kind to yourself is key. Social media can be overrun with Valentine’s updates. If you find that the constant stream of Valentine’s updates makes you feel even worse, then avoid social media for the day. We can also have friends who are insensitive to our single status- again avoid. We are inbuilt to compare ourselves to others, often at the expense of ourselves, so not having the information to compare against ourselves helps us feel better. Avoid for the sake of self kindness and preservation.

Create a music playlist of uplifting empowering songs to get you through the day. Music has a way of connecting us right into a particular mood or feeling. Use it to your advantage. My blog post on music more information on using music as a tool for wellbeing.

Avoid going out on a date with anyone for the sake of it. Often we can fall into the trap of just going on a date with anyone who is free rather than being left on our own. This though can make us feel even worse, as we’re left pondering after the date ‘Is this it?’ Don’t settle for second best, make the most of the relationship you have with yourself so that you love you just as you are and enjoy your own company this empowers you to be more selective with how you spend your time.

Challenge your mindset. Hard as it can be, we have a choice as to how we approach the challenging times in our life. Be it another Valentine’s day passing or an old anniversary that haunts us. Finding ways to handle these times can be tough. Our mindset is key. Start turning your awareness onto what messages come up in your mind. What is your inner chatterbox saying? Is it supportive, or judging and belittling? Start challenging those thoughts and beliefs and finding alternative perspectives for the situation.

Declutter. Sounds an odd one to put in for Valentine’s survival, but often our homes can be filled with old memories of exes be it gifts and photos or clothes they loved us in. Start asking yourself if the item makes you feel good or bad? If it reminds you of times gone by and keeps you hankering after an ex then get rid of the item. When we hold onto these physical possessions, they keep a part of us rooted in the past not the future.

Boost your resilience. We have all experienced challenging times in our lives, but often we forget what we have gone through and when we are faced with difficult times again, don’t know how we can get through them.

Boosting your self -belief in what you can handle boosts your resilience. Now is the time to look back over your life so far and think of the difficult times you’ve got through. What qualities do you possess that got you through? You still have these attributes and each challenging time you face, boosts your ability in being able to face other storms in life. Self belief is key.

Valentine’s day is a day about love. Just because you are single doesn’t mean that love in other ways is not running throughout your life.

Approaching the day with kindness for you and a love for you, helps empower you to love yourself just as you are.

Hard as it can be, making the most of the time you are single, doing the things you love, helps create a life you love regardless of when love comes along.

The saying ‘This too shall pass’ is a favourite of mine, it reminds me that regardless of what is going on, life is a series of different phases and life grows and evolves. Make this Valentine’s day a day you will remember for empowering you to love you just as you are.







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