Struggling with the now? Wanting to zone out? Read this …
I wrote this blog post about a eighteen months ago when I was in the depths of sleep deprivation and exhaustion, I debated not posting it but I feel its important to post on all experiences not necessarily the happier ones, so here it is, I hope it helps anyone out there feeling in a similar place.
Wake me up when its all over.
I have been listening to the ‘Wake me up’ song recently and the lyrics
‘Wake me up when its all over, when I’m wiser and I’m stronger’
Have rung true with how life feels at the moment and I wonder if many of us feel this at points and just never say it.
Life throws at us so many difficult times, perhaps it’s unemployment and the never ending stream of rejections, or being in a situation such as being single or wanting to have children without seeing any light or hope at the end of the tunnel.
For me, the feeling of wanting to zone out, to get through the bad bit of life, to not have to go through it and just wake up on the other side is overwhelming. I’m not depressed, I’m exhausted and want to get through this learning experience as quickly as possible.
But life isn’t like that.
We need to go through the hard times, the chaos, the tears, the misery, frustration and anger to grow and become who we are meant to be.
We need to evolve and learn new ways of being and most importantly, to not beat ourselves up in the process.
Whatever life is throwing your way, if you are desperate for it just to end and you be through it then this blog post is for you.
What can help;
Everyone feels feelings of inadequacy and not enjoying certain situations- this is normal, we have a choice how we handle the experience though. Ask yourself, ‘What can I learn from the experience?’
Avoid zoning out– zoning out can be a way out of the pain and negative feelings you feel. It is the way we can all deal with the pain we are going through, this can be zoning out with screen time, alcohol, food, shopping. Whatever your zone out, be aware of it, helps you to be conscious of when you zone out and with kindness, ask yourself ‘what uncomfortable feelings are you trying to escape from by zoning out?’
Emotional freedom technique– this is an awesome tool for grounding and getting us back into our bodies and bringing about a sense of calm. Google “Brad Yates You tube” and find the EFT tap along video for you.
Choose counsel wisely– when going through difficult times, I know I can have a tendency to ask the advice of those around me instead of listening to myself first. The opinions of others can swirl around my head and make me feel worse.
Reflect on how you can grow and evolve– be open to answers and information
Be aware of your inner voice and the messages it is giving you– it can be giving you a bit of a beating or lecture about how rubbish you are. Stop, check and ask yourself is my internal voice helping me through this time? If not, then start being conscious of the messages so that you can dispute it and find alternatives instead- write your alternatives up round your home.
Whatever challenge you are going through, know and have faith that life is a journey of experiences, ups and downs, repeat cycles and dead ends, I’m learning the key is listening to yourself and how things feel, having hope, being mindful of choices and having compassion, compassion for myself not criticism.
I coach clients going through challenging times, supporting them in finding a way out of their darkness into a place full of hope.
‘Feeling my way through the darkness
Guided by a beating heart
I can’t tell where the journey will end
But I know where to start
They tell me I’m too young to understand
They say I’m caught up in a dream
Well life will pass me by if I don’t open up my eyes
Well that’s fine by me
So wake me up when it’s all over
When I’m wiser and I’m older
All this time I was finding myself
And I didn’t know I was lost