Settling for Second Best in Love? Ways to Hold On & Wait for True Love


I was listening to the song by Katy Perry ‘Not like the movies’ song and it reminded me of the turning point for me when I was dating.

If you’ve not heard of the song it’s about waiting for the right person and not settling for second best in a relationship.

This song came for me at a time when I was breaking up with someone who wanted to settle down with me, but I knew deep down I would be settling for second best.

When I was in that relationship my intuition was screaming at me to get out, to end it to have patience and wait for my life partner, but as a 30 something woman, who wanted to settle down I quietened my voice of intuition in what ever way I could- drinking, running, smoking, working hard, all to dull the voice and to switch off from the mistake I was making.

The lyrics to this song gave me hope though;

‘I know you’re out there, and you’re looking for me, it’s a crazy idea that you were made perfectly for me’

 Those lines in that song sent shivers down my spine and I knew that I had to be patient and wait instead of settling for anyone.

Settling for so-so relationships in a bid to be with someone- anyone- happens to so many of us, but I want more for you than that. I want for you to find that love that all consuming heart stopping love that fills you with happiness day after day, year after year. A love that isn’t a dull reminder of settling for second best.

So if you are dating and considering settling or know someone who is, here are ways to keep you strong;

  •  Focus on you and creating a life you love regardless of whether you are with someone. What dreams have you always wanted to fulfill but never had a chance to? What would your ideal life look like with or without a partner? When we fall in love with creating a life we love regardless of whether we are with someone, it changes the focus and means we can create happiness in our lives regardless.
  •  Ask yourself- what are you putting on hold in a bid to find love? Often we stick in jobs we don’t really like, stay in flat shares that don’t really work all because we waiting for the right one to come along and enable us to move in with them, go on holiday with them etc. Ask yourself, what are you putting on hold that you could be moving forward with right now?
  •  Listen to yourself and your heart.If you find yourself being caught up in the panic to settle down or in society’s/friends views on settling, hard as it is to remember, it is your life and so slow down and breathe, listen to your heart, be strong and focus on the bigger picture.

No one knows when love will come along, but enjoying life in the interim and making the most of life right now means that when the right person for you does comes along, which they will, you won’t have any regrets about putting your life on hold or settling for second best.

I coach men and women around dating, relationships and remaining true to yourself, if you know of anyone who would benefit from my coaching, contact me for a free sample session. It would be great to hear how you’ve stayed strong whilst waiting for love and your experiences of the challenges of dating, please comment or share.

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