Drop the Mask to Live A Happier Life

maskOver the festive period I watched Frozen and the song ‘Let it go’ captured something that comes up frequently in coaching sessions- the fear of being ourselves, dropping our masks and in so doing, accepting ourselves as we are.

For those that haven’t watched the movie, the main character Elsa has had to hide her magical ice making powers to fit in, but eventually she can hide it no longer and ends up turning the kingdom into ice.

It got me thinking about how, metaphorically, this is true for us all- we hide our true selves out of fear of not fitting in and sometimes at some point the mask falls a bit.

We all have parts of us we want to hide to fit in with our family, friends and society- masks or sabateurs that keep us behaving in a particular way, whether its being too nice all the time out of fear of not being liked,

Or agreeing to help out when we’re already stretched to the max (and want to say no),

Or carrying on with a career that doesn’t fulfill us in order to keep people around us happy,

it’s sticking in a corporate company when a smaller more arty company would suit our personality better,

its burying the desire to follow your dreams out of fear of what others will think of us.

These masks and sabateurs keep us small and stop us living our lives fully.

 ‘Don’t let them in, don’t let them see

Be the good girl you always have to be

Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know

           Well, now they know!’

 We all want to belong in life, to fit in and not be rejected by our friends and family so we do what we can to fit in. We often don’t even do this consciously, perhaps overtime we have been told we are ‘too much’ in some way, so to ensure we fit in, we regulate that trait- we become less us and more what other people want us to be- more of what society and people expect us to be.

But this often ends up going to the opposite extreme and in so doing parts of us get dampened down- we get scared to express who we really are out of fear of rejection.

But what would happen if we allowed ourselves to truly be who we came here to be?

If we let go of the masks and the pretence what would happen then?

Imagine the freedom of letting go of the masks that keep us small or dropping the masks we use to protect ourselves.

Yes we would feel vulnerable, yes we would feel fear, but we’d also feel alive and excited at truly stepping into who we’re meant to be.

Way Shining a light on your true self;

  • Become aware of your needs to fit in- – write down ways you fitted in through your day- by becoming conscious of the masks we use in life we can start knowing how we are not being our true selves
  • Become aware of the thoughts you have that keep you small- the first step in owning our power is becoming aware of the things that keep us small, question these thoughts and beliefs- are they true? Are they really true? How do we know they are true?
  • Ask yourself who you would be if you were free of your thoughts and masks
  • Reflect on what you are all about and who you are and who you want to be

 Fear will always we there, but beyond it comes liberation

Elsa eventually allows herself to accept her uniqueness and in so doing, harnesses her true power and through it grows into the woman she was meant to be

‘No rules for me I’m free

 Here I stand and Here I stay’

So I challenge you to own your power– by being yourself, step into who you are meant to be.

What masks do you hide behind? I would love to hear.

I coach women with issues like this, if you know anyone who would benefit from my blog please share this. If you know anyone who would benefit from coaching click here.

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