5 Ways to State Your Wants in Relationships

Do you say what you want in your relationships? Or do you put yourself on the back burner, allowing others to state their needs whilst yours go unsaid?

This blog post is all about helping you stand up for your needs in relationships.

Often clients struggle with asserting what they want in the relationships they are in- this can be in any relationship not just the relationships we have with our partners. We worry about rocking the boat, being too demanding or actually sometimes just not knowing what we actually want, but knowing we aren’t happy as it is.

Striking a balance is key.

So here are a few ways to help you

Be clear on what you want and know what your boundaries are- often we know what we don’t want, but aren’t clear and sure on what we do want in a relationship. So spend time thinking about when you feel frustrated or resentments have build up in the relationships you are in and ask yourself what need is not being met.

Practising saying what your needs are- so you can own it and so when you say them out loud you feel confident, be aware of your posture and practice standing in a power pose- find out more about power poses on my confidence blog.

Be aware of your inner critic- Often our inner voices can say things such as ‘you don’t deserve love’, ‘you don’t matter’, ‘You’re not loving enough’, ‘You’re not good enough ’ . When you are aware of your inner voice you then can decide whether you want to listen to it or not listen to it.

Be kind to you-start listening to wiser quieter gentler voice within, this helps us feel more compassionate to ourselves.

Choose time to discuss what you want-find a relaxed time together and start the conversation softly. Research shows when we start softly with requests we are more likely to reach a solution you are both happy with.

Being clear on our needs and being comfortable saying them in the relationships we are in presents a real challenge for many of us. But being true to what we need helps prevent resentments and anger building up.

What changes can you make in your relationships today to honour what is important to you?

Leave a Reply