Steps to End Your Dead End Relationship
If your inner voice is telling you its time to leave then it is.
For me, Christmas is the perfect time to spend with my husband. But that wasn’t always the case. Years ago, many a Christmas would go by with boyfriends that weren’t quite right and that inner voice within me would quietly ask if the reason why I was feeling down wasn’t the New Year and Christmas being over, but another year with a boyfriend that wasn’t right for me.
And how I ignored my inner voice. I wanted to be in a relationship, to feel I had finally met someone I could spend my life with. How I tried to make those relationships work-
- Overspending on gifts that I hoped would bring me the love I was craving,
- Over-drinking to deaden the pain of feeling that, yet again, I had failed to make a relationship work,
- And over indulging in sweet food in the bid to get the comfort and love I wasn’t getting in the relationships I was in.
The festivities and merriment make us crave to have that perfect relationship: we see it in the movies and hear it in the Christmas tunes. We desperately will it to be the right relationship and if it is blindingly obvious it isn’t right, then we bury our heads in the sand and accept it.
Being in a relationship with the wrong person is lonely and deadening. Knowing we are in the wrong relationship and ignoring our gut instinct is an injustice to ourselves and to who we could become.
If you are in a relationship that deep down you know isn’t right, it takes courage to acknowledge that truth. But where does that courage come from? It comes from that place within us that wants us to live a life without regrets and pretence.
We need to be brave enough to trust that things will work out if we take the step of cutting the cords that hold us to the unfulfilling relationships.
It’s feeling the fear when we think of being single and knowing that the fear is there whenever we dare to break free of our comfort zone and truly feel alive.
Steps to help you;
- Become aware of things you do to placate and silence the inner voice of knowing- is it food, drink, a too full diary of obligations that take you away from facing the truth about the relationship you are in
- Listen to yourself and become aware of your inner world- stop for a moment and ask yourself, what am I thinking? What am I feeling? What am I feeling in my body? Ask yourself what you want and need from a relationship? Take time to check in with your inner experience regularly, until it becomes second nature.
- Write a summary of the year you have had in your relationship, or plot the year on a graph- was it generally happy? Or were there more bad than good times? More loneliness that connection? By reflecting it helps us take a step back and view the relationship from a more subjective point of view.
Here’s the thing, if we are honest about how we truly feel in the relationship we’re in and have the courage to end the unfulfilling relationships, then, I believe, we would all eventually end up with the partners that are the perfect fit for us.
And, perhaps then, we will get that fulfilling Christmas romance and will genuinely feel deep happiness at finally finding a relationship that quietens the voice within.
Have you ever experienced being in a relationship that you knew was wrong, but were too afraid of the unknown to leave? Did you leave? I would love to hear your experiences.
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I coach women who struggle with these issues and who want to make choices that are right for them, if you’d like a conversation as to how we could work together click here