Is Fear Holding You Back?

The black cloud fear creates in our lives
The black cloud fear creates in our lives

Fear- it keeps us small, it holds us back, it keeps us scared- scared of taking chances, scared of changing jobs, scared of speaking the truth, scared of letting go of an unfulfilled part of life, scared of not being liked, scared of not fitting in. Fear is there on our backs, holding us from where we want to be.

Fear- it grips us all at some point in our lives in one way or another, be it over life-changing, awe-inspiring change, or simmering up through an everyday underlying anxiety- fear can permeate everything.

In coaching, fear is often one of the main underlying concerns people want to work on. And with fear comes the symptoms of stagnation, procrastination, panic, dread, shutting down, anxiousness and self loathing, to name but a few manifestations.

It’s the black cloud that hangs around us and doesn’t disappear.

I’ve always been fascinated with our relationships with fear, this started with reading the book ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway’- at that time, when I was 19, my eyes were opened to a world that could be lived by working with fear not being scared of it. Over time I forgot the impact that incredible book had on my life and every so often I would re-read and absorb and remind myself again that fear doesn’t need to be a foe.

Since then I have read around fear and how to work with it and here are a few ways to overcome and step up to the life you want to lead;

  • Get to know and understand your values- what is important to you, through using your values as a guide and a compass, your values guide the way, so when we’re feeling in the midst of the gloom of fear they shine a beacon of light guiding us home. To find out more about values take a look at my values blog finding my values.
  • Notice the fear- if it had an image attached to it- what would that image be? What message would it have for you? When we look at our fear face on and explore it, we allow ourselves to get comfortable with fear and it has a funny way of not being quite so scary.
  • Write down the things that you are afraid of- all of the things, yes, every single one of your life’s challenges that bring up fear. With each one, breathe deeply and ask yourself ‘what does this part of me need right now to move forward?’  Pause and allow yourself to listen- uncensored -to the answer. Fear often stems from our vulnerability and the need for reassurance and love. When you have an answer, reflect on what you could do to give yourself what you need so that you feel more comfortable in the fear inducing challenge.
  • What is one thing you can do today that would be a step to overcoming a fear? I challenge you to do it and see what happens. Yes it will feel uncomfortable, but, once you’ve done that one thing, the fear will be that little bit smaller and will have a little less hold over you and who you want to be.

When we accept fear is a part of life and still push through to reach our goals we become the leaders of our life and instead of fear blocking our path it empowers us to grow into who we are meant to be.

I would love to hear your experiences of fear, how it holds you back and how you’ve overcome fear to lead the life you want.

I coach men and women who want to step into their power and become their best self- if you know anyone who would benefit from my blog please share below. If you know anyone who would benefit from my coaching click here to contact me.


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