How to Stop the Bad-With-Money Cycle
Money – most of us want more of it and it is a frequent coaching topic.
I have struggled with money and my relationship with it over the years- living on the edge with my finances- having just enough, but never enough to really create the life I wanted. The patterns I followed went something like this- I had money and spent it, then buried my head in the sand refusing to check my bank balance and instead, carried on the spending and living in life in the bubble of pretence.
Then something would come along and burst my bubble – be it a reminder for a bill or a desire to do something which would mean I’d need to face up to the money I had available- I’d check my balance and feel shame.
Shame I let myself get into debt.
Shame I wasn’t able to stop myself sooner.
Shame I was letting myself down and let’s be honest, my inner critic had a right old party adding fuel to the fire of self contempt by reminding me how I was letting myself (as well as everyone close to me) down by my money issues.
So if this sounds familiar read on!
Money is an emotive issue, it can bring out the worst in us as it taps into a primal level of security and scarcity and fear.
There’s something about it that fear loves to grab hold of, for me, I needed to find a new way to manage money so I began a process of looking under the bonnet of my belief system and lo and behold the beliefs we have play a massive role on how we handle our money.
How to grow your money tree;
- Check out your belief system around money- what do you believe? Perhaps it’s a saying such as ‘money doesn’t grow on trees’ or ‘you need to have money to make money’ perhaps it’s a belief that money doesn’t come easily. Reflect on what messages about money have been handed down to you from your family and what beliefs you’ve picked up along the way of life. When you’ve compiled your list, ask yourself, if each belief is true? Then ask yourself; ‘Is this belief serving me in creating a life filled with abundance?’
- Get clarity around what money will bring into your life- all too often we can be vague about gives us, ask yourself the question- ‘What will money bring more of in my life?’ Getting clear on what money brings you and then look at alternative ways to bring this into your life. So if money ultimately gives your freedom to make choices, what other ways can you achieve this, right now?
- Then get clarity on the amount you need to get where you want to be- many clients say they need more money but actually defining what specifically you need helps in the process of creating an action plan.
- Declutter! Creating space in your life for what you want to attract and bring forth means letting go of the things that don’t serve you. So now is the time to declutter your desk, clear out that underwear drawer and throw out or recycle anything you aren’t using or which is broken- for one thing you’ll feel a whole lot better getting rid of the old and secondly it allows space and clarity to open up to what you want more of in your life.
- What’s your money cycle? Do you bury your head in the sand? Do you find you splurge when you are feeling anxious or down about yourself? When we become aware of what our patterns are, it gives us the opportunity to make the choice to change them.
- Write it down- create money goals for the second half of 2015- what do you what to achieve? Perhaps it’s getting out of your overdraft, or saving some money every month or perhaps it’s earning enough to get you a week in the September sun, when we write down and commit to what we want to achieve we have a better chance of success- then come up with 3 steps you can take to reach your goal.
- Align with your values- when you look at money through the lens of your values which of your values can help you stay on track? Perhaps you value creativity, how can you use your creativity to keep you on track with money? Perhaps you have a value of independence, how can this value help you stay on track with money? To find out more about values check out my values blog finding my values.
Through self work, my relationship with money has improved, from making changes, I am not caught up in the fear and shame cycle and instead now see how my relationship with money impacts my whole life and self development.
It’s taken a while for me to realise that I create the world I want and my thoughts are powerful in how I approach my day and my life- I now realise I have a choice in how I approach money and I am choosing to make friends with it and to not be afraid of it.
I now coach people around their relationship with money with the hope that we will all become more conscious of our relationship with money and become more abundant in the process.
I coach men and women who want to step into their power and become their best self- if you know anyone who would benefit from my blog please share below. If you know anyone who would benefit from my coaching click here to contact me.