Fed Up With Dating? 3 Tips to NOT Give Up
I have been watching the first dates programme on Channel four – have you seen it? It reminded me of my own dating history and the many first dates I went on in a bid to find my soul mate.
Putting yourself out there on dates can be great fun, exhilarating and exciting, but this blog is for all of you, who struggle with putting yourself out there and who struggle with the relentless dating rollercoaster of picking yourself up after yet another disappointing date.
I want for you to feel alive and excited with dating.
I want for you to put yourself out in the dating world with confidence, self assurance and authenticity- you are amazing just as you are.
It can be incredibly hard to believe that when you’ve faced another bad date, but, really you are.
I want for you to find love. Not just any old love but the awe inspiring love that we all hope for and dream of deep down- that’s what I want for you.
So here are some ways to keep you going when you are out dating so that you don’t give up and give in too soon.
- Take regular dating breaks- dating can become all consuming- especially online dating, taking regular breaks allows you to keep a balance in life and still do the things that energise and inspire you.
- Have self belief- when we have been on a countless number of mediocre or bad dates, it can be hard to believe we are dateable, this is the time to remind yourself of how fab you are- get a list together of all the lovely qualities you have and pin it somewhere or have it on your phone as a reminder when dating gets you down.
- Be aware of your self talk- often when we keep putting ourselves out there and getting knocked back with dating our internal self talk can become more negative and defeated, start becoming aware of what messages you are buying into internally- perhaps it is that you aren’t pretty enough, confident enough or adventurous enough to find someone.
Write down those messages and with each one, ask yourself, is it true? What evidence is there that this belief is true? Often we tell ourselves things that don’t help us grow, but keep us small – when we know what these are, we can challenge them.
- Look at your beliefs –our beliefs shape who we are and how our world view is- if you believe something our minds work hard to find evidence to support that belief, often discounting other contradictory evidence, so if you believe there is a shortage of great men or women, you will find that that will be your experience- believe me I bought into this when I was dating thinking all men were commitment phobes and that was my experience- when we acknowledge and are aware of our beliefs we can challenge them and decide -from a place of choice- if that is what we are wanting to manifest- we always have a choice with what we believe.
Don’t give up- when you’ve been dating for a while and not had any luck, there is a tendency to want to throw in the towel and admit defeat, I ask that you don’t- hold on and keep going, there is someone out there for you.
And with an openness and acceptance that it might not be on the timescales you hoped, that person will come along, so make it easier not harder for them to find you, by getting out and doing things that make life feel amazing.
Enjoy your single life and make the most of being able to do what you want when you want and follow every dream you want without answering to anyone- so that when you meet your soul mate you will be ready to share in the next exciting chapter.
If you’re struggling with dating and relationships, I work with men and women who want to find a new way to move ahead with their love life. Get in touch for your free session