4 Ways to Build your Dating Resilience Today
This video blog is all around building your resilience when dating and single. Dating can be tough- putting ourselves out there can be an emotional rollercoaster. Finding someone you really like then finding out they’re not interested, being dumped, finding someone else, all the ups and downs mean our resilience can take a battering and we can feel rubbish about how we are and how we show up in the world-we start to question ourselves.
This blog is here to give you some ways to build yourself up and keep yourself bouncing back from life.
Reflect on what you have been through in life so far. In dating and also in life, we develop and grow certain skills and strengths as we face challenges – these qualities we develop stay with us so it is worth reminding ourselves how we have got through challenges in the past and grown as a person –this helps us realise that we can face more than we think we can.
Find meaning in everything that has happened up to this point. We can get attached to certain stories- for example if you are always dumped you can get attached to the ‘I’m always dumped’ story. By finding meaning in what happens to us and changing our perspective helps us feel better and more positive about the situation we are in (perhaps a break up allowed you to go travelling or start a new hobby) – finding the meaning and silver cloud lining for you.
Tip 3 have a list of all the great things about you- pin it up somewhere in your home- so you can see it regularly- it is good to remind yourself of all the fab, lovely things about you, when we date and are single we can often forget what’s good about us. This takes focus away from our negatives and focuses on what is awesome about you- just as you are.
Tip 4 interject day with positivity- research shows when we bring moments of positivity and nice things into our day it increases and buffers us from the challenges in life. For example watching movies that make you laugh and smile, getting a coffee or hot choc from your favourite café, going for a walk in a lovely park all can bring a little more sunshine into your life.
It would be great to hear you ways to keep you feeling good in challenging times.
What ways do you help yourself with the challenges of dating?
If you want to know more about how you can build your resilience and emotional well being when dating keep an eye out for my book on dating in Autumn!